At the end of a long day of planning and talking and planning and talking about planning and a double shot of espresso, I say to you: long live the 90's.
I am so glad that I get to come home and dance around in the kitchen, and eat yummy curry, and watch old snl on netflixs, and listen to pavement randomly (after forgetting all about pavement!!!), and spend sweet fun times with the dude I am crazy in love with.
For real. I think it was stumbling upon this blog that started it. This lady has a super, kind of hippie-chic style. She often sports these clogs in her family style section, and I'm just like oh. my. good. gravy. It totally takes me back to that grunge thing in the nineties. I'm thinking Nirvana era goodness, coupled with Blossom type nostalgia.
Clunky and geeky, yet whimsical and charming. So, for my un-birthday (or whatever gifting holiday next approaches first), let's proclaim to the universe that I love me some clogs.
<3 S P.S.: I'm really glad I didn't google search the word "clog." Could have been not so good. P.S.S.: Etsy searching "clogs," however, has a pretty rad result. Long live Etsy! P.S.S.S...or something.: You're welcome.
This week I've had the blues. Been ind of down for no reason. Like I don't belong in my own skin. You know. I think everyone gets like that sometimes. It's frustrating to have this feeling. Like the pieces of everything don't quite fit together these days. Like what I've been doing isn't quite good enough, though I can't put my finger on why. And none of my clothes quite feel like "me." I'm chalking it up to transition: school starting, changes afoot. After Derek and I went out for lunch, I curled up on our guest bed. (We never bothered un-making it after my mom left. It kind of feels like a new, secret hidden place, with the light of the patio seeping in. It feels like a secret space. Likes.) I've been watching a long list of movies I remember loving as a child. It's how I turn off my brain and escape reality for a bit. Sometimes I need to just soak into things. Sometimes I need to just be. The only positive to feeling like this is that I'm reminded yet again how wonderful my manfriend is. Thank you for always knowing when I need a hug. Or my hand held. Or to put my head on your shoulder. Thank you. You are my absolute favourite. Sometimes I rue the fact that I am so sensitive. I wish wish wish that I could will away this feeling that I can't help but succumb to emotion. But I really do believe that a lot of the time, those things that are our vices are also our best qualities. So I'll ride out these feelings, and soak up the love, and tomorrow things will be sunnier. <3 S
This video was posted on io9 today and I can honestly say I listened to every second of dialogue. Sitting still for seven minutes is not something I do on the regular, let me tell you.
Vi Hart, a professional mathematician, has her own youtube channel, which Derek has just linked to me and which I know will now fill many hours of today. Merci!
It really made me think about the way we teach and the way students learn, and how people can learn so much from just EXPLORING instead of being talked at for great lengths of time.
The internet makes independent learning not only possible, but often favourable to traditional styles of teaching and learning for some. (Let's not forget that to be an effective learner/teacher you need to be driven to learn first, and not be afraid to explore. Also, you really need to admit that you will never not ever stop learning, nor will you reach a point when you can say, "Done! Full of learning!" End scene.)
Mayhaps these are the ramblings of a tired lady, or maybe there is sense somewhere here.
But, as per my earlier point, if you choose to watch the video you can decide what you think for yourself. :)
Today my mom is coming to visit for a day split into two parts. She will get here today around noon and leave tomorrow around noon. My family is very organized that way. So clearly, I've been organizing like a madwoman, cleaning every crevasse of the apartment, buying new sheets (aren't the flowers so cute?), and getting wayyyy too much food just in case. When in doubt, begin hording I always say. I'd like to think that's sound advice.
My cleanin' socks. Also: the kitchen floor always looks filthy. Also: unflattering angle.
Yesterday at a meeting at school, I commented to a co-worker that it was really the first time a parent has come to stay at my house. Really what I think I meant was that it's the first time a parent has come to stay at a place that I'd consider my home. You know what I mean? I think subconsciously I feel like I have to show her how I am a for real adult. Sometimes I have moments where I'm doing adult things (buying a couch, anything teacher related, that whole gambit)(yes, I just said gambit) and that voice in my head is whispering, "They're buying it! Don't screw it up now!" I was telling another great lady at school about this feeling (after buying a couch... ohhhh there'll be more on the couch) and she commented that it never really goes away. That she still feels like she's putting on a great show of being an adult and she's fooling everybody.
I used to always suspect that real adults were hiding something. That they weren't as sure as they sounded, as wise as I thought. And I think I get it. You never really stop feeling like that I suppose.
Derek: They're fluffy. me: They hydrangeas! Derek: That's not a real word.
Lots of musings as my brain wakes me up at 4:30. That's right. 4:30. In the morning. Dance party? Dance party.
But until we replace you, we shall make you toast for us, ghetto style. Is my ingenuity not amazing? I ask you. Alright, enough procrastinating. Off to school! Have a lovely, lovely day :)
And live...
I can never decide which is better... but this is a pretty fun live version. Onward! <3 S
Going back to school always leaves me feeling a bit drained.
It's not so much the return to routine (I likes the routine), but rather the change in general and the expectations that are floating around in the air.
I've always had a hard time with change. I like it (I really do!) but but I find it hard to adjust to a new place, new schedule, new newness. It's one of my great life missions (all caps in my head!) to embrace change more gracefully.
(Sorry for beard related tear-fests. I will eventually get over that. Have faith.)
A lot of teachers totally place high expectations on themselves. I am one of them. I think that it's the kind of job where you really can't help it. How can you not want to give kids all of these great opportunities and amazing experiences? In teacher's college, (oh teacher's college. blech.) one of the most often used phrases is "Don't try to re-invent the wheel." It's supposed to make teachers feel better about resource sharing and whatnot, but it always makes me feel like they great unknown called "They" are trying to tell us to try less and expect less.
I've never been one to do either of those things - for better or for worse.
So today I went into school and began organizing my school life. It always comes slowly, especially without a classroom to set up this year. But I go in and I walk around the halls and I feel it out. Because I expect more from myself.
Schools feel weird without children. They are quiet, but somehow rife with anticipation.
I am starting to get the September jitters. I feel like anything can happen.
I thought I should sit here and write some of this down before I get so sucked in I forget to slow down and look around. The rain outside seems to have heard.
That’s right, I referenced the Charmed theme song. I have
embraced that chapter of my life.
Anyhow, it fits my state of mind these days to a tee. (Well,
that line does anyhow.)
I fear I should warn you to brace yourself for a “20-something centric” post here.
So, let’s just preface this by saying that I love my life. I
love my sweet apartment in my sweet neighbourhood. I love my career (even if it
is in a constant state of flux). I love my bearded manfriend like a crazy
person loves… crazy things….
Anyhow.
Although I’m super pleased with my life thus far, I still
have this niggling little voice in the back of my brain that from time to time
creeps around by my ear to say, “But! Wait!”
This voice is the one that tells me that I still want so so
many more things. I want to get a couch that isn’t from Ikea. (One is coming,
and if it fits through our door we are going to keep it – fingers crossed!) I
want to one day own a place in this great little neighbourhood and to plant a
tiny garden and to paint all the walls if I so desire. I want to find a quilt
that keeps us cozy at night and is still pretty to look at, and I don’t want to
have to worry about being able to be able to buy groceries if I purchase it.
I want to be able to do my job and have it be MY job;
supplying is great and I’m lucky that I have a gig for sure, but just once I
don’t want to be asked “Who are you today?” I want to be ME!
I want to choose a side: I feel like I’m square in the
middle of young adulthood and whatever is beyond, and I find it hard to know where
to put my feet sometimes. I have big ideas in my head as all my friends reach
life milestones. I feel like I am in a grassy, comfortable valley, and I can’t
quite see what’s on the other side of the hill. But I know it’s good.
I bet there’s pie.
I’ve always been that person who tends to live in the
future. I mean, I was worried about high school in grade three, and about
university as soon as I got to high school. That’s not to say that this
neurotic trait hasn’t come in handy. On the contrary, with my job it’s kind of
a necessity to live a week in the future at least. But the problem with living
in the future all the time is that your head gets lost in the clouds a bit, and
you can kind of forget where you are.
So, at present, I’m trying to chill the heck out. To just
let things happen. And not to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground
(because that’s horrible advice; monotony is not something to aspire to), but
to just soak things in and appreciate.
Not firmly planted, but rather soaking up the day. That's how it is.
I feel like this was beat poetry and now people should be
snapping their fingers at me. If you’re doing that, you get 500 imaginarypoints.
There’s this thing teachers (and parents, I suppose), say
when kids are losing it over fairness, or circumstance: “You get what you get,
and you don’t get upset.” I like that, because it’s a way of basically saying
that life isn’t fair, and you’ll have to roll with the punches. Because that’s
just the way it is.
I think it would be better to say “You get what you get, and
you make the best of it,” but maybe the rhyme isn't as good. Well whatever. When it comes down to it, things are pretty good. And
who wants to waste life away with what ifs?
Not me. :)
<3 S
P.S.: I would, however be ok with wasting large amounts of time looking at apartment stuff on the internet. It's like falling into a K hole. This lady is my new apartment drug. So is this website.
The weekend isn't even over yet and it's been lots of funs and whatnot around here! Friday night was a low-key dinner at our one of our neighbourhood joints, followed by a cozy evening in. My favourite. Saturday was great too! I went for a fantastic run early in the A.M. and ran into my principal from school. She's the best lady ever - and how many people can say they ran into their principal on a run and got a hug, I ask you? Best! Later I met up withlady Julia for fun lady things and browsing downtown (let's not forget coffee and granola bars), then dinner with our manfriends - yum. Today has been one filled with pyjamas and far too much coffee from my favourite pilfered mug (more on that in a bit). I have big plans to go out later and grab some fixin's for a delish Sunday dinner - mmmm pasta!
Here's what we've been up to over here, in picture form.
Cricket fell in the bathtub.
He was super embarrassed.
It was completely adorable.
I decided a nail art pen was a good investment.
I subsequently spent more time than I'd care to divulge painting my nails.
With hearts and stripes.
5 years of post-secondarey education well spent, folks.
If you have never played Bananagrams, get on that.
It's the best thing ever.
(Also, what is this website!? I had no idea. Best. Ever.)
So, ok. Every morning when Derek and I walked into the kitchen, we were met with puddles of lukewarm water that Cricket had splashed all around the kitchen. It was the grossest thing ever. This weekend I finally smartened up and bought these ceramic dishes for his food and water. They are 100% for sure dog dishes, but over here we just don't seem to care.
I run along the path on the right side of this picture.
Best running path ever!
Every time I go running I think about how much I love our city.
(Then I go out to get groceries and the slow walkers and sidewalk talkers get in my way and I forget. If people could only learn how to respect pace and space! Man!)
(Here, Julia demonstrates the excitement that was felt about the food.)
And dudes, they grow some of their own veg here!
I'm a sucker for a good cherry tomato, I tell ya.
This is the coffee cup I accidentally* (*ahem.) brought home from my last job
(at a different school).
It's perfect. I choose to believe that this cup has always been mine and that we just recently found each other again. Kind of like that scene from Teen Witch where Serena talks to Louise about her pendant and tells her, "It belongs to you, you belong to it. It's a symbol of your powers." Yeah. My coffee drinking powers.
On another note: Should you watch Teen Witch? Probably. Is it good? Let's talk about what that word "good" means. If to you, good means entertaining as long as you forget about the fact that the film does, in fact, feature bad acting and a song called "I Like Boys," you should be ok. Also, this scene is amazing. Amazing. AMAZING."He's so funky!"
Yep. He's something alright.
And we shall close with the Cricket in his natural habitat.
I love his dreamy/half asleep face.
(Prior to this he was totally cuddling with that mouse. But our little buddy here is quite camera shy and I juuuuust missed a sweet photo op. Thems the breaks, kids.
Thanks to Alex for showing me this adorable video. It's done by Julia Potts, a London based illustrator, and can be viewed over at Animalarium as well. (It's a super blog! Glad I bumped into it!) <3 S
Hey. Did you know school starts in a few weeks? It totally
does. Some teachers better start getting their acts together, right?
Right.
Already the school dreams have started. They crept up on me
slowly this time, but now they’re in full swing.
The list of school-mares has been growing rapidly. Lost a
student? Sure. Forgot to put on your clothes today, teach? Well I don’t know
how that happened! Grarg. And always, always there is a person shaking their
head at me disapprovingly. Arg!
Last night I was dreaming of school (missed my bus and was
late the first day, in case you were wondering), and then my dream segued into
a dream about a monster looming over me and breathing on my in my sleep. The
monster then breathed out a gust of air WOOSH! and I woke up in a cold sweat.
Heavy stuff right?! Needless to say someone in our apartment finished their
copy of Game of Thrones at 3 a.m. this morning.
(It was me, fyi.)
Anyhow, I didn’t get to sleep until like 7, and even then
only for a half hour. (There’s no sleeping in once Cricket decides you should
be awake, let me tell you.) The result is a brain rife with teacher thoughts,
and a desire to both get everything done now! now! now! … and to put off
everything until tomorrow.
For someone who’s employed to be organized and on top of
things, I’m pretty good at procrastinating.
Wanna know a secret? One of my favourite (read: least smart)
things to do is to avoid things that make me anxious or that I find unpleasant.
This list includes but is not limited to: doctor’s appointments (I know.),
dentist appointments (I KNOW!), house cleaning , taking out the garbage,
visiting my parents (even though I love them), hanging pictures, and – oh yes! –
planning for a new school year.
Something teachers rarely share is that many of us have this
great sense of panic at the start of a new school year. “Wait!” we think, “What
if I really can’t teach and I’ve forgotten EVERYTHING! What am I supposed to do
on the first day of school? What if things go wrong?” What if what if what if.
It’s crazy that this is every year for me. Crazy! And it’s
always the same really: I get in there and I have this immediate sense of
ahhhhhh… so THIS is what’s been missing. Because I love my job. I LOVE my job.
What I don’t love is figuring out what to do that first day.
That’s the hardest.
So today, after planning for a bit, I will instead paint my
nails with this, and go for a long walk by the canal.
I know. I know.
<3 S
P.S.: It was totally our air conditioner that
woke me up. Guess that’s the price you pay for climate control. P.S.S.: Soon I will have to deal with all kinds of this in our crawlspace to get to my teaching books...
I blame the nostalgic feeling I get when I smell dough. That
amazing, yeasty, comforting smell.
Mmmm.
Thank you Granny Aggie for spending countless hours teaching
me how to beat the whatnot out of dough in order to make it just so (and, to build crazy awesome muscles). You rock. (And, you are great at
cheating at cards and drinking red wine, which makes you my hero.)
So yeah.
Today, I decided that it would be super to make a dinner of mini
things. Baby corn! Pigs in a blanket! Etc!
After thinking it through, I realized I got carried away
with ambition (especially on a Monday), and decided to save my mini feast for a
dinner party and to do the best thing ever: make mini pizzas.
Mini pizzas! My mom used to keep them in the freezer all the
time when we were kids. My brother and I LIVED on them in school. I even used
to eat them for breakfast (I know, so gross. I also ate KD Easy Mac. Whatever,
I’m over it, you should be too.).
So I got all excited and did my mini pizza dance (which, if
you could see it, would totally knock your socks off) and decided a mini pizza
party just isn’t a mini pizza party without a trip to the inlet to watch the ducks.
(Well, that might have been Derek’s idea.)
And of course, a thermos of wine.
(We actually bought a thermos specifically for covert
drinking in the park. It makes us feel fancy. And the cups are opaque and have
safari animals on them. Right?)
We totally lucked out because the forecast was looking
pretty grim, but then the clouds parted and we had the most lovely sunshiney
sunshine there ever was.
(Please excuse the continued variety of filters on my
photos. I am exploring a sea of iPhone options here. Also: a thermos of wine.)
This is the first time I've made pizza from scratch and had the dough turn out beautifully.
They were YUM and it was super simple! I used instant yeast and let the little guys here rise once for an hour then once after I shaped em. On top is broccoli, green pepper, prosciutto, and much onion and garlic. We used tons of pizza sauce and dairy free cheese too.
We packed up all our goodies and a beach towel and lugged our things to a lovely park by the inlet. When we got there there were a great many dogs. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on dogs here, but seriously people, control your animals. Please don't assume that everyone is a dog person just because you are. And if your dog is irritating other park goers, come and retrieve it - don't just call it in a lackadaisial fashion. That is all.)
Here is one of the safari animal cups I purchased at the Shopper's Drug Mart while buying ketchup chips. They serve us well, and the elephant is extra friendly looking.
Behold the thermos of dreams and wonder! This baby is the true hero of the eve.
(Also, Derek could totally make it as a hand model.)
Duck...
...duck...
...duck!
(Also, I saw a black swan crossing over a bridge the other day. It was at first very beautiful, then I became creeped out. Ever been chased by a swan? I have. My dad had a friend named Mr. Schwan... and he had swans... yeah.
Basically they were meanies and I'm forever scarred.)
Sunset by the inlet.
Lately, I'm very into orange. This looks like a flower to me.
This weekend was super lazy. The greatest events included
beers with pals (yea!) and dinner visits with Derek’s parents (also yea!). The
rest of the weekend was spent in a haze of video games (him) and romantic
comedies (clearly, me). Recharge we did!
Here’s our weekend in the form of pictures, because why not
I ask you?
(My friends and I totally dressed up as the Spice Girls and filmed ourselves in grade 6. We were totally into it too. I always had to be posh, but now I'm glad because hi, she's clearly the coolest. Thank you for indulging me that.)
(I painted the pot too! Hearts + green = totally.)
Saw these trees everywhere in Orleans and I'm flummoxed as to what they are!
Pears? Idaknow. Input is welcome.
Watched this little gem. Oh man, the high school memories.
(of watching the movie, not things that happened in the movie. ew.)
And might I add that it's not real love unless the dude is willing to carve your name plus the words "4 eva" on his chest.
Also, I really don't like Mark Wahlberg. Hm.
I found this gem of a plant stand on the side of the road on the way to one of our dinner dates. It was calling out to me saying "Dooooonnnnn't leeeeaaave meeee!" and because I'm such a nice person and a lover of all things free (free!) we picked this little guy up and carried him to safety. Well, Derek carried him. But I named him, so there's that.
Welcome to the porch Leon.
In my head this post was going to be tiny, but as usual my rambling has won.
