how soon is now?

That’s right, I referenced the Charmed theme song. I have embraced that chapter of my life.

Anyhow, it fits my state of mind these days to a tee. (Well, that line does anyhow.)

I fear I should warn you to brace yourself for a “20-something centric” post here.

So, let’s just preface this by saying that I love my life. I love my sweet apartment in my sweet neighbourhood. I love my career (even if it is in a constant state of flux). I love my bearded manfriend like a crazy person loves… crazy things….

Anyhow.

Although I’m super pleased with my life thus far, I still have this niggling little voice in the back of my brain that from time to time creeps around by my ear to say, “But! Wait!”

This voice is the one that tells me that I still want so so many more things. I want to get a couch that isn’t from Ikea. (One is coming, and if it fits through our door we are going to keep it – fingers crossed!) I want to one day own a place in this great little neighbourhood and to plant a tiny garden and to paint all the walls if I so desire. I want to find a quilt that keeps us cozy at night and is still pretty to look at, and I don’t want to have to worry about being able to be able to buy groceries if I purchase it.

I want to be able to do my job and have it be MY job; supplying is great and I’m lucky that I have a gig for sure, but just once I don’t want to be asked “Who are you today?” I want to be ME!

I want to choose a side: I feel like I’m square in the middle of young adulthood and whatever is beyond, and I find it hard to know where to put my feet sometimes. I have big ideas in my head as all my friends reach life milestones. I feel like I am in a grassy, comfortable valley, and I can’t quite see what’s on the other side of the hill. But I know it’s good.

I bet there’s pie.

I’ve always been that person who tends to live in the future. I mean, I was worried about high school in grade three, and about university as soon as I got to high school. That’s not to say that this neurotic trait hasn’t come in handy. On the contrary, with my job it’s kind of a necessity to live a week in the future at least. But the problem with living in the future all the time is that your head gets lost in the clouds a bit, and you can kind of forget where you are.

So, at present, I’m trying to chill the heck out. To just let things happen. And not to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground (because that’s horrible advice; monotony is not something to aspire to), but to just soak things in and appreciate.

Not firmly planted, but rather soaking up the day.
That's how it is.

I feel like this was beat poetry and now people should be snapping their fingers at me. If you’re doing that, you get 500 imaginarypoints.

There’s this thing teachers (and parents, I suppose), say when kids are losing it over fairness, or circumstance: “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset.” I like that, because it’s a way of basically saying that life isn’t fair, and you’ll have to roll with the punches. Because that’s just the way it is.

I think it would be better to say “You get what you get, and you make the best of it,” but maybe the rhyme isn't as good. Well whatever. When it comes down to it, things are pretty good. And who wants to waste life away with what ifs?

Not me. :)

<3 S

P.S.: I would, however be ok with wasting large amounts of time looking at apartment stuff on the internet. It's like falling into a K hole. This lady is my new apartment drug. So is this website.